Episode #9: Habit Stacking, A Practice That Will Change Your Life
When I was in my early 20’s, I learned one concept from a podcast about forming good habits that actually did change my life right away. This one, simple lesson gave me the foundation to really start focusing on what I wanted, and to build my life step by step into what I envisioned. I learned this tool, immediately started practicing it, and by the time I was 27 I looked around, realized I had achieved most of what I set out to do, and found it was time to set some new goals and get back to work. This one single lesson is a simple concept called Habit Stacking. Ever heard of it?
If you’re anything like me, you probably have big dreams, big plans, big ideas, and want to accomplish everything now, right away, at this very moment. But you probably also feel overwhelmed by all the things you want to be and do, which leaves you not sure where to start, which leaves you a bit stuck in one spot ironically.
Habit Stacking turned out to be the solution to this cycle for me, and I’m positive it will be a game changer for you too. It’s the simple practice of picking one small habit or skill that you want to develop in your life, and working towards it single mindedly until it becomes more or less automatic to you. Once this happens, you can move onto the next habit or skill, but only once you’ve made big progress with your first habit. Doing this, bit by bit, one simple thing at a time, you’re able achieve the focus to learn and develop at a much faster pace than when you’re trying to be superman and do everything at once. It allows you to build the life you dream of building block by building block, without being overwhelmed by the immensity of your task, until you look up and realize you’re already freeking there.
This is absolutely a skill I think we should all be taught as children, to add to our toolboxes as adults. Hands down, it is the missing link that so many of us look for when we’re trying to change our lives and create something new and great for ourselves.
The reason why I’ve found this technique to be so life changing is that it does one main thing no matter what you’re applying it to. It takes a complex and large goal you have, and makes it possible to achieve simply by shifting your energy and focus into one area at a time, because unless you’re superman you can’t possibly do everything all at once, and it’s no good to keep trying, falling off the bandwagon, and then kicking yourself for not making progress.
“ Habit Stacking turns mountains into molehills by making you break down your bigger goals into small, manageable steps that you tick off one thing at a time, until block by block you build this amazing thing and amazing life that seemed almost impossible at the start. ”
It also reduces the overwhelm many of us feel when we’re gripped by inspiration and try to become these amazing superhuman people all at once. You know, after a weekend away when you come back and decide, starting tomorrow I’m going to clean the kitchen every night, and workout 5 times a week, and entertain every weekend, and do yoga at 5 am, drink green smoothies once a day, stop drinking, and start my own business! It’s so tempting to do this, but honestly it’s exhausting just thinking about it. If anybody has had success with this all or nothing method, please, tell me how you did it, because to me it’s overwhelming, exhausting, unsustainable, and often leads to giving up and feeling like you never actually do anything you set out to do. Habit stacking helps you get there, without driving yourself into the ground and to a grinding halt along the way.
How to start habit stacking
I’m going to break this down into four easy to follow steps for you. Implementing this practice into your life is simple, but like anything, it is its own habit that you have to get used to and incorporate in a way that works well for you. So, simply start by writing this down, keeping it somewhere visible, and don’t be ashamed to come back to it when you inevitably forget what you’re doing, and need to start fresh. Building habits and your life is not an all or nothing system, we all fall off the wagon, forget, get distracted, run out of time, energy, but that doesn’t mean you don’t come back to it.
STEP #1: Make a list of the habits you want to have, and the goals you want to achieve
This is always the fun part, dreaming up who you want to be and the life you want to have. Don’t limit yourself, don’t hold back. If this is a challenging activity for you or makes you feel so afraid, I’ve got you covered. Go back to Episode #5, How to Design Your Life, and do the broken down goal setting activity I outline there. I also have a great free mini training on setting and achieving goals that you can get here.
Your goals list can run the gamut from I want to build a million dollar business, to I want to remember to run the dishwasher every night. Include it all. I actually like mixing larger goals with smaller habits, because you can’t always be working towards something huge, and it’s so satisfying and rewarding to achieve smaller goals that will also make your life so much better. For example remembering to leave your keys in a bowl at the front door every day so you don’t waste hours looking for them all the time. That’s not a lofty goal, but if you can make small behaviors like that into habits using this method, they stack up to become something life changing over time.
STEP #2: Choose ONE item from your list to focus on
This is the hardest part, because you’re probably pretty excited about a lot of things on there, and it’s easy to tell yourself I’ll just pick two little items to work on in tandem. Or, but I’ll get there so much faster if I do more than one thing at once. I’m telling you, don’t do it, pick one. Whenever I try to do more it works for a few weeks, and then I usually end up not succeeding at any of it. Seriously, pick one, and if it’s easy then awesome, you can move on to the next one quickly.
When you’re deciding where to start, it’s often easiest to choose something small, or something that already aligns with who you view yourself as or a value you have. For example, maybe you don’t have enough physical activity in your day, so you want to start the habit of exercising after work a few days a week. This will be easier if you already value exercise, or identify as a healthy person. Go easy on yourself when you’re first learning and making changes, and set yourself up for success.
STEP #3: Make a plan
Whether it’s as small as vacuuming the rug once a week, or as large as investing in your first piece of property, it will not happen if you don’t create a plan. If you’ve chosen a larger, long term goal, this means breaking your larger goal down into small manageable steps, and then picking one of these steps to focus on first. For example, the investment property goal probably needs to start with creating a new savings routine to put aside enough money to start building up a down payment.
Creating a plan to incorporate your habit into your life often looks like creating a cue, habit, and reward system. This means deciding on something that will cue you to perform the habit, actually performing it, and then rewarding yourself for your success in some way.
Personally, when I’m trying to add a new habit into my life, it works well to attach it to a time, place, or other activity that already happens. For example, when I decided that my job was too sedentary and I needed more activity in my days, I decided that I would go do something active every day when I finished working at 4 o’clock. I made the end of my work day, the time 4 o’clock and the shutting of my computer, the cue to go get some exercise, whether that’s going for a bike, a walk, a yoga routine, a run, a hike. The movement was flexible, but it had to happen every day at 4 when I finished work. I would do the activity, and then my reward, (which for me was ticking off a box to show that I worked out that evening, and then allow myself to have a relaxing evening without more work if possible.
For another example, if you want to get a better handle on your finances, decide that you will review your spending on the 1st of every month, and put it in your calendar. Then, when the first of the month rolls around, use that as your cue to print out your credit card documents, pay your bills, and figure out how much you spent that month. Then, reward yourself with something like seeing a friend, going to a yoga class, or picking up dessert for dinner that night. Whatever your thing is, it’s important to plan it out by deciding on your cue (a time, location, or activity), planning how the action will take place, and then rewarding yourself.
STEP #4: Track your progress
It’s proven that writing things down and tracking your habits will help you achieve your goals faster. We’re all human, we’re all distracted all the time, and it’s so easy to forget what you’re working towards when life comes at you from all sides. Tracking your new habit keeps it front of mind, helps keep your lazer focus, and is so rewarding to see when you’ve achieved your goals.
Find a way that tracking works well for you, personally I love to create a series of squares in my calendar, and cross off each day when I’ve done something to achieve my habit. For example, starting this business felt so overwhelming, so I decided that until I was ready to launch, I would spend two hours every morning working on getting it going. The activity during those two hours changed as I progressed through the different stages of launching, but that two hours daily was unwavering. And when I was done each day I would cross that item off my list with a big satisfying x, then take a short break.
True, there were days when I didn’t manage to put my two hours in because life or my other business got in the way, but having it written down in my calendar every day, and crossed off on days when I was successful kept me on track and focused for months until I reached my goal. I can definitively tell you that if I hadn’t recorded this and kept it visible, days or weeks would have gone by when I lost inspiration, didn’t prioritize, or got too busy to do the work, and I would have been delayed for months longer.
So, track your habit, write it down, keep it somewhere visible, and feel proud when you check something off or look back and see your streak of success. Don’t guilt yourself when you don’t either. Remember, it’s not all or nothing, just get back on track and commit to not breaking your habit the next day.
Tracking will also help you see when you’ve achieved what you’re working towards, or see when a habit or skill becomes automatic, which means it’s time to re-visit your goals list and decide what’s next. You’ve already built a strong foundation so what’s going to be stacked on top of that?
Above all else, the concept of habit stacking revolves around reducing the overwhelm you feel so that you can actually take action, and breaking larger goals into smaller steps, again to reduce the overwhelm. Dreams can feel big, and daunting, and it’s easier just to keep them as dreams, but years can go by like this. Stacking one small step on top of the next gets you to actually do things, and keeps you in motion. It turns you into a doer instead of just a dreamer without you even really realizing it. And remember you’re free to change things around and adjust if something isn’t working for you, or isn’t important anymore. Just remember the concept that small, imperfect action is so much better than sitting around thinking about things all the time, but never getting there.
Linked Resources
Episode #5, How To Design Your Life is another great add-on to this topic!
Download the free audio guide all about how to set and achieve your goals here.
The books Atomic Habits, and The Power Of Habit are great resources to read if you want to learn more about this topic! You can find them linked here.
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